Who am I?

I've come to an awareness that I should not be continuing to blog at this time...

I love learning and have thrown myself into studies of theology both formal and informal. I have a little knowledge - enough to be potentially dangerous. I have a little knowledge, yet I lack wisdom. And humility.

I have strong opinions - some formed by the little knowledge that I've accumulated so far, some formed by zeal for my faith and some formed through what life experience I've amassed to date. These aren't necessarily ripe for the sharing just yet. Contemplation is needful... prayerful ponderance.

I initially started blogging again with a view to doing something 'apostolic' using the skills and knowledge acquired during my computing and theology studies respectively. Yet, who am I to be putting my views forward and trying to influence others? Who am I to masquerade as a teacher?

Only the Lord is our teacher. I hope one day, to serve as a vessel through which His loving, redemptive message can be transmitted.

Scripture scholars tell us that there was about a ten year gap between the conversion of Saul and the beginning of his missionary preaching as St Paul. I wonder how he used that ten years, how he was formed, how he lived in his new-found knowledge of the truth of Jesus Christ? I need formation before I can faithfully do the work of He who strengthens me.

To the question I posed in the title of this post, God is giving me the same answer that the Lord gave to my patroness, St Catherine of Siena. "You are she who is not, and I AM HE WHO IS!"

If you chance across this blog, please pray for me!

Signing out... for the last time. May God bless you.
+JMJDCC+

Not QUITE simony...

... but close enough that it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Mackillop was there for five years but you can spend eternity

This article talks about the big plans for making lots of $$ out of the fact that the remains of St Mary of the Cross were there once upon a time. This seems to me only a very short step away from selling relics.

Maybe I got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, but the suggestion that our physical remains stay at our burial site for eternity really rubbed me the wrong way, too... almost like a subliminal rejection of the doctrine of the Resurrection of the Body.

My Aspirancy at the Motherhouse (4)

So I think I left off somewhere at the beginning of the Vocations Retreat where very quickly I got a sense of the awareness of tradition among the sisters. They have an awesome 'Heritage Room' that documents the past 150 years of their history, dating back to the American Civil War, during which I believe the Motherhouse was the only structure completed in the entire country. FASCINATING and I didn't get nearly enough time to spend there but am looking forward to my Postulancy where I'm sure that will be rectified.

The girls on retreat were a mixed bag - some were seniors in high school, others were college students, a small number were established professionals or recent graduates. Quite a few had studied or were studying at Franciscan University, Steubenville. Sounds like the student culture there is phenomenal! Anyway, everyone was at different stages of their discernment and had different things to contend with back home (unsupportive parents, college loans, all sorts of things.) I have to say I felt very out of place, because my purpose in being there was to test something of which I already had a strong conviction, the result of a long time in discernment.

Recreation time was a good time to break some ice and after the daily 1.15pm walking Rosary, where the sisters line up in pairs, we had some games of ultimate frisbee and soccer. There were quite a few decent soccer players there, which made for some great sport! Characteristically enough I couldn't help myself and played goalkeeper as if the World Cup depended on it.

It felt good to be active. This is going to sound strange but it really contributed significantly to my experience of the entire several weeks. After a medical situation that resulted in my discharge from the RAAF and required 2 surgeries to get back under control, I haven't really been particularly active as I have been scared, quite frankly, that I would start experiencing haemmoraging again or something. This has resulted in my putting on a fair bit of weight and generally feeling less alive than I used to do when I lived an active lifestyle. Well, at the Motherhouse, I just went for it! I forgot all about my fears and my past difficulties and just got into the game... and had NO TROUBLE AT ALL!! This was almost like God's little seal of approval, His 'sign-off' that this plan of His was going ahead. Oh, to run and not to suffer for it for days to come!!

Essentially the convent routine enabled me to live the kind of healthy lifestyle I've been too nervous to venture near! The 'climate' of recreation was social rather than competitive (although don't get me wrong, everyone got into it!) and the food was fantastic - tasty but healthy. Combine this with all the stairs that I had to climb to get to my dorm and its safe to say I lost a few pounds. I also toned up just a little and came back looking really well. Convent life in its practical realities certainly agreed with me. It struck exactly the right balance between prayer/silence, activity/stillness, fellowship/recreation and study/work, thrown into a blender with all five of the food groups!!

Aspects of the retreat deviated slightly from the plan; firstly, we needed to shuffle things to allow for Sr Anne Therese's funeral. Also, with that stomach flu doing the rounds, we were well-advised to avoid the infirmary, so we did not visit the more elderly sisters during the retreat, which was a bit of a shame. We DID get to go on a trip to learn more about the apostolate of this congregation. The sisters took us to 4 of their institutions - St Pius X school, Overbrook School, St Cecilia's Academy and Aquinas College.

I don't want to rush my discussion of the schools and it's just gone midnight... 8 short hours until another day at work begins, so this will have to wait!

Yasi: a demonstration of the power of prayer and the glory of God!

Cynics this morning seem to be honing in on the fact that the media are finding it hard to keep the Cyclone Yasi story alive given the minimal damage.

Personally, I'm seeing things in a bit of a different light.

I don't believe the expected damage or the expected deathtoll were media hype. Good, scientific sources provided categorization of the size and ferocity of the storm. Similar sources also provided comparative data to recent phenomena in other parts of the world. Government and emergency organisations tasked and coordinated a best effort response plan to minimize casualty. Those of us who weren't trolling chat rooms whilst watching live feeds were asking God to spare the people in Queensland, whatever else happened to buildings and infrastructure. 

Yes, the media ran and re-ran stories and video-clips of all of this, but that doesn't mean that the danger wasn't real - that simply reflected the age of 24hr news udpates. The world was holding its breath and waiting to see what would happen... and lets face it... that doesn't make for very good television. Given the expectation of 24 hour coverage, it is unsuprising that the media needed to rerun news conferences and old footage until something more significant happened.  

This morning's aftermath has involved (so far) no reports of injury or death. It has also involved relatively minimal damage when compared with what was anticipated.

I believe this to be the merciful God at work, answering the prayers of His people. I posted last night that only God could stop this storm... well, even moreso, only God could let the storm still happen, with all of its size, categorization and ferocity, and bring almost everyone (possibly even everyone!) out alive on the other end!

All you breezes and winds, fire and heat, cold and chill, bless the Lord! Queenslanders, Australians, all of humanity - bless the Lord! Glory and praise to Him forever.

Cyclone Yasi: only God can stop this one

If you've chanced upon my blog tonight, very likely the reason is for you to see this appeal for prayers on behalf of the people in the state of Queensland, Australia.

After a horror month of floods, an 'inland tsunami' and some serious aftermath, Queensland is about to be hit by another significant natural disaster - Cyclone Yasi, the biggest recorded cyclone ever to hit Australia. The damage is expected to be devastating and the death toll significant.

Please do pray for these people.

My hope is that God spares these people entirely by causing the storm to fizzle out before it reaches the shore (estimated T-60 approx). If this is not God's will then I hope that He spares the people from casualty and excessive injury, even if their homes and towns are damaged severely.

John 21:15-19... a passage that makes learning Greek worthwhile!

I'm a beginner with Koine Greek. With good resources I can painstakingly translate passages from the Gospels but it sure takes me a while. I'm a little too nervous to try with Luke's Gospel - his Greek is more sophisticated. But here's one Scriptural passage that doesn't REALLY come to life until you read it in the Greek.

We won't concern ourselves too much with parsing and whatnot here. A little vocab and an ability to differentiate between nouns and verbs is enough to get us through. And since I haven't figured out how to do Greek characters on my Mac, I use transliteration so the word will be Greek but expressed in the Latin character set.

(Random aside: If not for the Eastern Schism, do you reckon Mac's would come standard with the Greek character set?)

OK, so mostly everyone is familiar with the reality that there are several words in Greek for 'love'.

But is everyone aware that when Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him, and Peter answered that he did love Him, 2 times out of the 3, Jesus used a different word for love than Peter did?

15 When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you agapas me more than these?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I philo you." He said to him, "Feed my lambs." 16 A second time he said to him, "Simon, son of John, do you agapas me?" He said to him, "Yes Lord; you know that I philo you." He said to him, "Tend my sheep." 17 He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you phileis me?" Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, "Do you phileis me?" And he said to him, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I philo you." 18 Truly, truly I say to you, when you were young, you girded yourself and walked where you would; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do not wish to go." 19 (This he said to show by what death he was to glorify God.) And after this he said to him, "Follow me."

Throughout my younger life I heard at school and at Mass alike that the reason for the repeated question was in a certain way to ceremonially repair the relationship after Peter denied Christ three times. I'm sure that there is truth to this; Augustine and Chrysostom both proffer this and their interpretation is not to be sniffed at!  What I find so wonderful about Scripture is that there is such depth that can never truly be plumbed!! I find the teaching of the Fathers in this regard to be very beautiful, but I believe that the significance of this passage goes even deeper than this... there is so much to be drawn from it!

Consider the first time that the question is asked. Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him in the sense of agape. The noun refers to a sort of self-sacrificing love for other that has later come to be associated with Christian love - this should give us a beginning. But it is only a beginning... you see, Jesus used the word in verbal form. The verb from the same root word (according to the lexicon I've been consulting) in a sense equates to proving one's love. If the love concerned is of the self-sacrificing variety, then necessarily, proving that sort of love means to sacrifice oneself.  Jesus didn't just ask Peter if he loved Him, but rather if he loved Him in such a way that he would sacrifice himself to demonstrate that!!

Now let us examine Peter's answer - he uses a completely different word!!

Peter uses another word for love - philo. Love in the philo sense refers to having a deep sense of feeling for someone as a friend. This is a wonderful thing - Peter feels a strong friendship for Christ. Yet this is not what Christ was asking! I find myself wondering if Christ in His human nature didn't feel a twang of sorrow at this response.

At the same time, this was a truthful answer on Peter's part. In that instant he had not been given whatever grace was required to give that genuine agape love to which Christ was inviting him. And not only did he admit as much, but he also demonstrated by what he said that he knew Christ was already well aware of this fact! There is a frankness in Peter that I find refreshing, somehow.

Christ shows us the sort of friend and brother He is; He demonstrates how much He trusts Peter by giving to him the care of His lambs. Then, He Peter to rise to a higher love than which he was at that point capable by his own strength... He asked Peter if he loved Him with an agape love.

Peter's response demonstrated that, even in the face of the trust that Christ had placed in him, he didn't 'get it' and he again declared his friendship.

Christ's third question of Peter is where He brings out the 'big guns'. This third question is NOT a repeat of the previous two (unlike what English translations of the Bible lead us to believe.) Knowing, of course, that Peter is not yet ready for agape love, Jesus asks Peter simply if he loves Him in a philo sense. The Scripture passage above tells us that Peter was grieved that Christ had asked him this. Many might suppose that this is because Jesus has just drilled him and nagged him as if He were having confidence issues or as if He didn't trust what He heard the first time. That might be how WE would respond if we were asked the same question three times in one sitting... we all know, though, that Christ had no reason for confidence issues, and we've just seen through Christ's entrusting of His flock to Peter that trust wasn't an issue either.

I think the reason for Peter's sorrow is the self-knowledge that came of Christ appearing to lower His expectations. Christ was obviously aware of Peter's shortcomings, but Peter, who had been so ready to declare at the Last Supper that he would follow Jesus even to death (Mark 14:29) came to the realisation that although he loved Christ dearly as a friend, he was not yet able to love Him in that deep, self-sacrificing sense.

Peter, in response to this third question, declares the twofold truth that Jesus knows everything, and that He knows that Peter loves (philo) Him. I get a real sense of Peter longing to be able to give Christ the agape love to which He was inviting him, but not being able to let go of whatever may have been holding him back.

The remarks with which Christ closes out this little encounter seem ominous, but really, they are a beautiful promise, a fulfilment of the promise of beatitude to all who seek righteousness (Matt 5:6)! Christ is telling Peter that he WILL be capable of agape in the future and that he will bring glory to God - that he would be able to love the Lord in the way he longed to love Him.

FINALLY, now that Jesus has told Peter exactly what he's in for... given him all the information he needs to know... He says "Follow me" - He renews the call and allows Peter to CHOOSE what He has just foretold.

(Yet another random aside: I find myself wondering if this isn't the scriptural basis for the fact that in formation for religious life, one makes temporary profession and lives the life for a time, and then makes a final profession some years later. The 'Follow me' at the nets is answered in the first profession and the 'Follow me' in the encounter outlined above is answered in the final profession?)

So if you don't think THAT is cool, then there's a certain choice passage in Ezekiel referring to the replacement of stone with flesh that may have a bearing on your situation. *spoken with my tongue placed firmly inside my cheek!* Either that or I guess I'm just not that good a communicator!

I don't know how he does it... the Pulp.it!

If you haven't already, check out http://thepulp.it/

This site has a summary of interesting tidbits from various Catholic blogs around the world and is updated twice daily. Frankly I don't know how anyone has that kind of time on their hands, to be able to read that many blogs, select the headlines for the day and post them, and to do it twice daily, so I half wonder if there isn't some kind of sophisticated automation algorithm going on behind this site....?

At any rate, there's always a link to something worth reading and its a nice way to keep your fingers on the liturgical pulse of the Church - for  example, on January 28 (Feast of St Thomas Aquinas) a number of the links were relevant to St Thomas. During Advent last year, there were a number of posts that were relevant to that Liturgical season. Facilitated by this website it is possible to get a feel for how others are living the seasons. A number of the posts also broach more intellectually challenging topics and regularly engage with what is going on in the media and the rest of the world.

Searchable. RSS Feeds. Facebook integration (not that I, an anti-Facebook conscientious objector, need THAT, but it IS a feature that might interest some, I guess.) Uncomplicated interface that makes for ease of use.

I've been watching this site since last December and I've decided I like it.